A speaker in church today spoke about creating good habits.
One of the things he said was along these lines: “Somebody once defined
insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different
result. I am going to challenge that today. I recently saw a movie where an
army was attacking a castle. The castle had these very tall, extremely thick walls.
The army had a catapult that they were using to try to break down the wall.
They threw the first boulder and the wall didn’t come down. They threw the
second boulder and the wall didn’t come down. They continued to cast the
boulders at the wall, hitting the exact same spot each time. The leader of the
army was repeating the same action over and over again expecting that over time
there would be a different result. Sure enough, after enough hits the wall went
crashing down.” The speaker then compared that to creating habits and how the
result of a goal is not achieved instantly, it happens over time of repeating
the same thing over and over again.
I found this good information and definitely food for
thought. How often do we give up when one more time of doing something would be
what got us the result we were looking for. But how do we know when it is time
to move on and not push to make something happen?
When I got married I had the intention that no matter what
happened, I would not get divorced. I felt that there was nothing that could
happen that would be unfixable. This was the most important covenant I would
ever make and I was fully dedicated to it. As time went on and the abuse became
more and more apparent, I still felt that I had to do everything I could to be
true to the covenant of marriage. I fasted, prayed, attended the temple,
counseled with my Bishop, and attempted to talk to my husband about what I was
experiencing with him. It seemed as if every effort to make the marriage work
backfired. He accused me of looking for reasons to leave him when in reality I
was searching for reasons, any reason, to stay. I was pounding my fist on a ten
foot thick concrete wall and no matter what I tried, nothing would ever cause
that wall to budge.
There have been different situations in life where I have
asked the question, “When do I know if I have sacrificed enough? When is my
offering to God ever enough?” I asked this about my marriage many times. There
came a point when I realized that maybe God didn’t want me to try to break down
the concrete wall. Maybe He had something different in store for me. I had
prayed many times to see if I should leave the marriage and never felt that it
was the right time. Then one day I just knew. I could no longer allow my
children to live in fear. I could no longer allow myself to be disrespected. Instead
of looking for a way to escape my own pain and suffering, I asked God what I
could do to protect my children and create a safe place for them. That is when
God turned me away from the concrete wall and gave me permission to choose a
different path.
Sometimes the answer is to keep pounding away at the wall
until you get the desired result, sometimes the answer is to find a different
path. How do we discern which is the right answer? I believe that the answer
lies in asking oneself: am I wanting this to happen because it is what I want?
Or do I want this because I truly believe it is what God wants? There will be
times when God desires for us to keep pushing forward on the same path, despite
the obstacles. There will also be times when God wants us to choose a different
way that will ultimately lead us to a better place. We have to keep the line of
communication open to Him so that we will know what it is that He wants for us
to do.
Are you on the path that God would choose for you?
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