Dealing with Children

Today I learned something very important about myself that I want to change; I have no imagination when dealing with children. I helped out with the children in church today. Their music leader was on vacation so I was helping with the music. When we had the three to seven year olds there was a boy that had brought a couple of books, paper, and a pencil to Primary. He was being a bit distracting during the lesson as he fussed about where his pencil had gone as he moved all his stuff around on the floor. I reminded him multiple times to sit in his chair but it made him quite upset. The woman giving a lesson then taught me a very important lesson.

The woman went over to the boy and complimented him on the amazing books he had. She said they were so interesting looking that she was having a hard time teaching her lesson because she kept wanting to look at them. She suggested it might be helpful to her if maybe they could hide the books, that way she wouldn't be tempted to look at them when she should be teaching. He immediately offered that they could be stacked under his chair. She told him what a wonderful idea that was. They put them under his chair and he didn't touch them again until it was time to go to his class.

This woman treated him with such respect and kindness. There was no anger, controlling, or raising her voice. Some might say she was manipulating him, but in my eyes it was a very positive way to handle a potentially difficult situation.

I feel that I have become so concerned about getting through each day that I have lost all imagination. I have become so quick to raise my voice over years of my children not listening to me that I have forgotten to use daily experiences as teaching tools. Instead of asking, "How do you think we can solve this problem?" I take over to get things done quicker. I feel that there is so much they can learn, so many skills they can be taught, if I could show a little imagination in the situations that come up daily.

The thought of trying out this concept in my home makes me feel defeated before I even try. I have many excuses about how tired I am and how I have so many responsibilities already that adding this would only make life harder. Changing my parenting is like teaching an old dog new tricks; it is very difficult, although not impossible. But isn't the responsibility of teaching and raising my children the most important thing I have in my life? Isn't teaching my children coping skills, the value of work, respect of others, and kindness towards all of more value than doing everything my way all by myself to make sure they get done?

I know that it will be a challenge. I know that I will make many mistakes. I know that my patience will be tried. I also know that my love for my children will grow and hopefully they will be more capable people from this process.

How can you improve your parenting today?