Coping with Stress

Today I was in a position where I had to summarize in an hours time the experiences of my marriage and divorce and the affect it has had on me and my children. How do you put thirteen years of the most traumatic time of your life into a quick synopsis like that?! It was difficult as I relayed some of the most painful things that have not been revealed to more than a couple of people. At one point the person I was talking to looked at me and said, “How do you cope with all of this?”

I answered that I had my church, my family, the shelter that helped me leave, counselors, and a few close friends that I met along the way. Since leaving that meeting I have continued to ponder that question, “How do you cope with all of this?” When I really look closely at the last thirteen years, the biggest thing that has helped me cope and kept me going each day is the hope that I have in Jesus Christ and the healing that can come from drawing upon the powers of the atonement.

But how does one access the powers of the atonement? I think that the process might be slightly different for each person. I realized early on in the divorce process that when I felt anger or judgment that it made it impossible to feel the love from the Savior. I consciously worked each day on letting go and working through the pain and anger I felt. The more I let go, the more I was capable of feeling the light and love from the Savior.

One of the things that helped me in the process was listening to good, uplifting music. I listened to a lot of Christian music, mainly the group Mercy River and the artist Hilary Weeks as well as hymns and children’s hymns. As I filled my mind with positive, happy music it helped me to feel and recognize the hand of God in my life and feel his love.

Other things that helped me were going for walks, meditating, visiting with my sister and her family, and finding a goal to work toward. One goal I had was to do an obstacle course with my kids. We had so much fun doing that together. Looking for positive things in life made it more possible to feel God’s love.

I am so grateful to those people who have been with me throughout this experience. I am so grateful for the love I have felt from God. I have been so blessed through all of my life, especially these last thirteen years. Though life is nothing like I had imagined, I have learned much about myself and about the love of God. For that I am eternally grateful.

How do you cope with the struggles in your life?