Being True to Myself

Throughout my life I have really struggled with feeling like people will not accept me once they get to know me. When I got married I thought that I had finally found someone that I could share my whole self with. While dating I began to cautiously open myself up, having good results. He accepted everything I said; he felt that I was gifted and special. I was excited to get to share my whole self with another person.

Once we got married that changed. A very important part of my life was massage and healing work. I wasn’t just a massage therapist, I was also an energy healer. I had the ability to sense and move energy in a person while massaging them. People had amazing results from the massages I gave. I was told all the time that my massages were the best people had experienced. I knew that it was because God had blessed me with a gift of healing.

My ex-husband did not agree. It started slowly with expressing that he felt that maybe I shouldn’t do some of the work I did. Then he said that what I was experiencing wasn’t real, even telling me that, “I believe that you believe that these things are true.” He told me I was mistaken in my gifts and didn’t want me to use them. That was when I made the biggest mistake of my life; I chose him over my gifts from God. I still did occasional massage but didn’t do the healing work that I had once done.

An interesting thing began to take place as I closed off my gifts; I lost my identity and personal power. The farther I got from my true self, the more difficult it became to live. I began to feel like I was dying more and more each day. Without my gifts I was not strong enough to withstand the verbal abuse. Without my gifts I quickly became beat down. Without my gifts I was no longer me.

God gives each of us gifts and it is our responsibility to develop and share those gifts. After leaving the abusive marriage I was able to freely work to develop the gifts that God had given me. As I have worked hard to regain personal power and connect to my true self, my healing gifts have increased beyond anything they had ever been before. I can now stand proudly and declare, “I am an energy healer!” Any man who asks me to shut off who I am is not a man worth my time.

I don’t feel that people have to agree with all that I do or all that I am, I just ask for respect as I walk the path that God has called me on. One of the great gifts of doing the healing work I do is that God allows me to see into the souls of individuals and see them as God sees them. It has changed the way I view people and the world. All I ask of people in my life is to allow me to be my true self and I will always allow them to be their true self. I am not willing to hide myself anymore, or for anyone. It is time to be true!

Are you hiding your true self?