When I first left my marriage I had no confidence. In fact, I was absolutely terrified. The whole process of leaving felt as if I would die just from the terror of taking my children and leaving my home. That was when my sister told me a phrase that carried me through that time of life. She told me to be as strong as a lion yet calm as a summer breeze. Those words have stayed with me ever since that time, now over three and a half years ago. It became my mantra.
After my kids would be asleep I would often go in the bathroom to cry. In those moments I would hear my sister's voice reminding me, strong as a lion, calm as a summer breeze. It gave me strength and purpose. It helped me to realize that strength did not come from anger. Strength came from a calm assurance that I was doing what God wanted me to do. The lion has been slowly awakening within my soul, becoming part of who I am.
One of the struggles I have had to overcome through all this is feeling like my opinion doesn't matter, like my voice has no value. It is essential for all people everywhere to understand that they are important, that they have something to contribute, that they have a voice. People who experience abuse of any kind often shut down their truth in order to "not make waves" and keep themselves "safe." I have been learning that as long as I remember my sister's words that I can express myself safely. Removing anger from my voice allows me to leave behind the dragon's voice and be strong and confident in who I am.
We all have a story to tell. We all have our own experiences. I hope that what I am learning from my experiences can help others who have similar pain so they can find hope. Life is hard but God is good. He allows every one of us our agency to choose how we treat each other but he always provides a way to heal, not only from what we have done, but especially from what has been done to us.
