Faces of DV

The Faces of Domestic Violence

by Amy Tiare

You see me in the grocery store and you ask how my life is

I think, “I’m here to get away from my husband. His verbal abuse was more than I could take tonight.”

I smile and say, “Everything is fine.”

You see me in the park playing with my kids and ask how my day has gone

I think, “I can’t allow anyone to change my toddler’s diaper or they will find the bruises from their dad.”

I smile and say, “We’re happy to be at the park!”

You see me in church sitting with my husband and children

I think, “I hope I can hold back the tears so no one will ask me what’s wrong.”

I smile and sing the hymns of praise

You call me on the phone and ask how I am

I think, “I’ve lost all hope and I want to take my own life.”

I smile and say, “Oh, I’m fine. How are you?”

You come into my home and ask if there is anything you can do for me

I think, “Please, please, look into my eyes and see my pain!”

I smile and say, “No. I don’t need anything.”

You look into my eyes. You look deep into my soul.

I think, “No! NO! Please don’t see who I really am! I’m weak! I’ve lost myself! I have no power. . . Please, please, please, see what’s happening! Please, help me! Please, help me find a way out of this!!!”

I smile and say, “I can’t hide it anymore. Please help me out of this.”

You are surprised. You are shocked.

You think, “But you said everything was fine! You looked happy in church with your husband! You have been smiling every time I see you!”

You smile and say, “I’m here for you. Let’s get you some help.”

You see me in a domestic violence shelter and ask how I’m doing

I think, “Everything I have come to believe about myself is false and I’m having to redefine who I am.”

I smile and say, “I’m under construction.”

You see me out on my own, divorced, and struggling to support myself and my children

I think, “This is the hardest thing I have ever done! But I am free from the abuse and free to become who I want to be.”

I smile and say, “Thank you for seeing. Thank you for hearing. Thank you for giving me another option. Thank you for helping me take back my power.”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Do you recognize the faces of domestic violence?