Massacre

I have been overwhelmed by the amount of hate being spewed the last few days as a result of the massacre that took place at a Florida gay bar. The hate, I feel, has been greatly misdirected. When I first heard the news about the massacre I was shocked that such an event had taken place, not because of it being at a gay bar, but because of it happening in America.

As I told my children about the event I literally cried because of the horror that I felt. The horror of this happening in my country. The horror of this happening to innocent people who were out having a good time. The horror of having to tell young minds that this is happening in the world they are growing up in. I felt so much pain for all those who were at the bar. I hurt for the lives lost, for the lives of those who lived, and for the family and friends of everyone involved. This massacre didn’t just happen to “gays.” This massacre happened to America.

As people search for someone or something to blame I find myself searching deeper than that. I ask myself, what happens in a person’s life to lead them to such actions? How could a person be capable of taking another’s life? I know that in this particular case the man had pledged himself to ISIS, but regardless of what a person has been taught or how they have been raised, every single person has to make a choice as to how they are going to live their life and how they are going to respond to the stresses they encounter.

I, like everyone else, have gone through some incredibly awful life experiences. I have been given reasons over and over again to hate, to be mean, to be bitter. As I felt myself being swallowed up in the depths of Hell I had a choice to make. Was I going to let the experience control me? Or was I going to choose to become a better person because of what happened to me? I will be completely honest, it could have easily been me going out on a killing spree. I think that many people, if they really looked at themselves, would have to admit that there is a part of them that is capable of such horror. So why do most people move on and not give in? Why do some people plot and plan and do such atrocious things?

A healthy person is designed to take the stresses of life and process them, letting them go and not allowing the stress to control them. But the majority of people are not emotionally healthy. Our society teaches us to bury our feelings and only show what is “socially acceptable.” We are supposed to be “fine” when asked how we are. We are not honest with our fellow beings and we are not honest with ourselves. I’m not suggesting that we should be negative and tell all our woes to everyone we encounter. I am suggesting that we need to acknowledge our true feelings in a healthy way and release them instead of burying or allowing them to fester.

Instead of attacking each other we should be looking for ways to process our grief. Instead of looking for someone to blame we should be looking for ways to help each other. It doesn’t matter if a person is gay or straight, black or white, rich or poor. We are all children of God on a journey to improve ourselves. Personally, I want to leave this life having made the lives of the people around me better than they were before they met me. I don’t want to become consumed by hatred and bitterness. I am choosing to love others and be a better person every single day. I am choosing to pray for all of my brothers and sisters who are hurting and grieving. May we all look at ourselves and realize that each moment is a choice and we are the only one who can make that choice.